December 13th, 2004


(no subject)

Today I am haunted by might-have-beens. If they were anything but might-have-beens, I believe they could be put behind me. Instead, they haunt me. Worse yet, I am pretty sure I am romancing the might-have-beens all out of proportion to reality and that's just not healthy.

Thankfully, this isn't likely to last. Why it's smacked me upside the head today, I couldn't say. It's not like this is the first time a glimpse of a lookalike here at work has reminded me of the might-have-beens, but this time it dropped me right into melancholy and reminiscing. Why do I let him haunt me so?! It just can't be healthy.

And it doesn't matter that I tell myself his charm is a spinal reflex, or that I was a familiar face in a sea of unfamiliar ones, or that he went to a great deal of trouble to control our communications. The might-have-beens still haunt me. I wish he'd finished what he'd @!#$% well started ... okay, so there's some anger in the melancholy....