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Why... - Melodramatic, corsetted mistress of the obscure
July 11th, 2006
08:35 am


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...do corporate communications from upper management, no matter the company, always make me want to barf?

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

[User Picture]
Date:July 11th, 2006 03:17 pm (UTC)
Subliminal messages.

You see, it's a little-known fact that most corporate CEOs also own stock in clinics that treat eating disorders. If they can in fact induce involuntary bulemia through indigestible buzzword-laden propaganda, they hope to start the habit and line you up as part of the revenue stream. So, over the years, we've all had subliminal triggers conditioned into us so that phrases like "Value Added" or "From a go-forward standpoint" are actually programmed to induce projectile hurling (sorry 'bout your keyboard, needed to provide examples...).

Conversely, perhaps it's just a response to being asked to swallow the thoroughly indigestible? Would you have the same response if you tried to eat, say, three pounds of wool?

Sorry you're dealing with it today.

Much love,
[User Picture]
Date:July 11th, 2006 04:10 pm (UTC)
That.... is entirely too plausible.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:July 11th, 2006 04:10 pm (UTC)
True, very true.
Date:July 11th, 2006 09:09 pm (UTC)
We got an extra large dose of upper-level corporate info today. Our company rolled out their new logo -- we've "rebranded"!

It's also our 5th anniversary as an independent company, so our CEO got to ring the bell at the Dow Jones closing today! Wheeee! He gets a gold star!
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