Kerri (solan_t) wrote,

"Thus conscience does make cowards of us all."

I will start this off with something good - the liliacs in the courtyard are blooming and they smell wonderful.

Still with the anxiety attack as I walk into work. This is very tiresome. "Then get a new job!" I hear you. But the question is "Where?" and "In what field?". And, on top of that, I really don't want to move. That seriously limits my options. And on top of THAT, there's no guarantee I won't find myself in the same boat.

I dreamt of those little clickable dragon eggs I see in some journals. It was not a restful dream though. I had to keep clicking and clicking and clicking. Ugh. But it was a morning dream and that's inevitably when I fret. Wake at 4:30 5:00, 5:20, 5:40 but force myself to stop fretting long enough try to get back to sleep. I will often end up fretting in the dreams.

At this point, it's so regular it's either habit (dammit!) or something in my environment is actually waking me. It's weird. I am actually sleepy enough I don't want to get up, but I can't stay asleep.

I should conclude with something good.. Oh! I know. The Drysol is working very well without obvious side effect.
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