(I don't know if the name brand (TheraFlu?) is any better, but the Top Care version of take-cold-medicine-in-hot-water in NASTY, NASTY stuff. I don't care HOW much lemon juice is put in that, there is NO WAY to mask the basic bitter taste of ALL FOUR medications in it. Bleh! no... BLEHHHHHHHHHH! Now, back to what I was talking about.)
I want to emphasize I had a BLAST. Plain and simple, don’t-care-that-the-stilettos-hurt, don’t-care-one-toe-is-half-numb, don’t-care-my-voice-is-blown, don’t-care-my-sinuses-keep-filling-my-lu
But, to put on a hall costume, look in the mirror and go OOOO, then to step out in public and see faces light up at the sight of me… OH YEAH …. OH FUCKING YEAH! Flirting lightly with some, more strongly with others (there is pause here while I flashback with a wicked, naughty grin on my face.) I sashayed through the atrium, greeting friends and acquaintances, some of which I haven’t seen in months, if not a year.
Yes, people, in case you didn’t know, I AM an attention whore. Finding a place I feel safe to let it out just took while. I still bless the day Elizabeth talked me into joining KaCSFFS and then talked me into going to Contra with her. I was rather newly divorced and not terribly happy with myself at the time. A certain subset of people (the Murray-Bahms, Jeff, Star and Pooch to name a few) took me in and gently re-introduced me to the thing I didn’t even know I was missing – attention. I love you! Thank you! And I am sober now, so you know I mean it. :)
And a happy surprise on Saturday night: someone I didn’t expect to see this weekend came by to see friends and pass on some information about the conclusion of a very stressful situation that turned out (so far) much happier than I had any expectation of. I love happy surprises. And I got to spend time with this person, which was NOT expected. Wooot!
Lovely people, lovely interactions, wonderful memories to go into reverie with. Ah, but how can we properly enjoy the good things without the foil? It’s a well known fact that SF and Fantasy fans are often (always?) socially inept to one degree or another. At the very least, we don’t tend to fit into the social ‘norm’, that’s for sure. Contra (and ConFlation) is proof to me that ‘outside the social norm’ usually means ‘really darn interesting’ to me. For instance, being the test subject of someone showing someone else the sense-drugging effect of, say… rabbit fur, then a light drag of nails across skin… well… I think… my senses were pretty drugged and what was being said was coming to me in bits and pieces at best.….. :O Not a lot of places in ‘normal’ life where that would happen, you know?
Yes, ‘outside the social norm’ usually means ‘really darn interesting’ to me. But not always.
I am now about to start really venting. Feel free to quit reading (well, unless you are as curious as I and just can’t…. sorry about that.)
First, the newer problem. I will refer to them as the Puppy and His Cousin. Their first convention was, apparently, the ConQuest for which I was a Co-Chair. That’s were I first met them. The Puppy was over-eager, but His Cousin seemed more level-headed. I was a little slow to realize that the Puppy was someone that needed to be handled VERY CAREFULLY or he’d, well, follow you around like a lost puppy. An annoying one. I started a successful campaign to ‘encourage’ him to leave me alone. It went against the grain, and a part of my mind keeps saying ‘but he’s so needy. When YOU were needy, people took you in and gave you what you needed. How can you be so selfish?” but then another part points out that he’s so needy he’s very likely to suck me dry. I don’t think I was THAT needy. Self preservation at it’s finest.
His Cousin, it turns out, was level headed only by comparison. Actually, Seantaclaus pointed out (correctly) that he’s not so bad if you can get him into a conversation. The problem is he won’t stay out of people’s personal space, which makes comfortable conversations out of the question.
Between the two of them, they made John Ringo’s stay at ConQuest unhappy. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out about that until very nearly the end. :( I hope, Sean, that you did have a conversation with them, and that it does some good.
They didn’t give me too much trouble this time around. But there is another individual of longer acquaintance that did. At first, I felt sorry for him. More recently, I tense at the sight of him. I have started fighting my social conditioning that says ‘be nice to everyone’ just to give him the coldest non-welcome I can manage. He’s not getting the clue very well. Or, if he is, he’s ignoring it. About the time I decided it was time to tell him outright not to touch me again, he ceased to touch me. O.o It wasn’t until I decided not to acknowledge his presence that I noticed he comes up to me JUST OUTSIDE MY VISION. It means I have to turn toward him to keep him in view….to see if he’s going to touch me…. To see if he’s STILL THERE. OMG, it’s creepy. But if I acknowledge his presence even by so much as turning toward him, he takes that as an open invitation to stick around, no matter how cold my face, nor how non-committal and terse my verbal replies. But to drive him off any more forcefully strikes me as rather like kicking a, well, puppy. I just can’t do it. Yet.
Jimmy tells me S. has a few people that try to stay between him and her at all costs. I may have to start asking a few people to do the same for me.
In the second to last encounter with him at this Contra, Adam gave him a flat stare until he left. I was, at the time, listening to a very interesting discussion (okay, it’s probably best called a monolog, but that just sounds… wrong) about food, of which I missed a bit, worrying about the presence just behind my field of view. But you know what? It takes a certain amount of effort to seem to ignore someone at your back that creeps you out.
But he doesn’t QUIT. I wanted to see the Sick Puppy Party on Sunday night (ironically deader than the Dead Dog Parties I have attended after Conquest – which were fun), but ended up watching Cold Case (fun! Maybe I should rethink this ‘nothing worth watching on TV’ thing… nah) in the Con Suite.
I was diagonally across the room from the TV for best watching pleasure. Adam was studying in the corner closest to the door. No one else was left in the Con Suite. This individual walks in about the middle of the show, comes clear across the room, and crouches down next to me, just at the edge of my vision as I watch the TV and starts to talk to me. Leaving my eyes on the TV, I point imperiously at the screen and he shuts up. But he doesn’t leave. I refuse to look at him. At least I could see him in my side vision, and he stayed out of touching range. There were a few places in the show where it would have been normal for me to make out-loud comments directed at no one in particular, but since I KNEW he would see that as talking to him, I said nothing. When the show was over, I got up (suddenly grateful this individual placed himself on the side of me OPPOSITE the door), went to Adam and suggested that I really wanted to go home and sleep, if not in my own bed, in my comfy chair in the living room, so I could sleep upright, and maybe defeat some of the cough (which worked well. I slept soundly until about 6:30). He agreed with alacrity, but I seem to remember him suggesting something like it earlier. Thanks for humoring me, Adam; some things I just have to learn for myself. :p
On the plus side, I got home about 10 (normal bedtime) and was only charged for two nights. :O
What does it say about me that it makes me feel better to put such things in print in a public forum? :(